you asked for it...

ok, stop begging- here are some Montana photos. Not the best, just a teaser.

yeah, I can rope 'em

save me sheriff!
that's all the scenery you need for now.

I'm back

Back from Montana- details of trip and photos to follow!

you'll be sorry

R. and I were talking about touchy subjects, as in the things that you are sensitive about to the point where once you tell someone not to joke with/harass you about, it's fairly upsetting when they do. I have a few of these, where it's just not funny to me. Maybe to you, but live my life for a while, and you'd see. Do you see me picking on your clown issues?

The list, for those who are interested:

hot buttons - memory: I know I have a bad memory, there are a lot of reasons for that. Please don't harass me, you are far less funny than you imagine. messy: you think? i am aware that i am a mess. i'm working on it. i've been this way for 25 years, and i hate it more than you, I guarantee. hearing: i am partially deaf in one ear. I really can't hear you, and no, it's not funny. No, not even when you say it. Bite me. eating habits: why yes, i am eating pickles out of the jar I store on my bedside table with a side of salami and some sour straws. see the aforementioned bite me. i'm eating, at least.

my temper: I have a temper? shocking. this is totally news to me. because god knows, if you get on my back about one of the above quirks, i will respond in a completely rational fashion.

oh, and i might be sarcastic. but i'm ok with people pointing that out.

next post will be: things that i suck at that i'm totally ok with.

watermelon, part deux

so, it turns out i don't mind the physicality of eating the small white watermelon seeds- in fact, i hardly notice. but i still really really don't like to, the idea of it is icky to me. why are they different to me than strawberry seeds? or pomegranate seeds?

and most importantly, where are you, boyfriend of the future who will voluntarily remove all my watermelon seeds?

Air conditioning - friend or foe?

Article in Salon.com about air conditioning - given how much the recent purchase of mine has been weighing on my mind, I thought I'd post a link to it.

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/07/07/heat/

(Sorry for the ugly link, someday I'll learn more html)

As much as I'm enjoying my relatively cool room, I can't help but feel conflicted. Right now I'm experimenting with only using the actual AC feature when it's quite hot and using a extra fan to spread the cool air about the room, and just using the plain fan when the temperature is reasonable.

There are several levels of confliction- the first is naturally my concern for the effect on the environment, and I need to do more research to find out how I can minimize this, or at least counteract in some other way. The second is my electric bill. The third is that I find it isolating to be in my house, with the windows shut. I can't see the river when I wake up in the morning, I can't look out at night and see the lights and be thrilled by living in Manhattan. There's no question that if I still lived in Ithaca I would shun the air conditioning in favor of the night sounds. The flip side of the isolation is that the street noise from the seemingly endless party on my stoop no longer wakes me up.

So I do my best to minimize the use, and think critically about my footprint on the earth, but sometimes I opt for ease of living and comfort over what may think is right.



And, it's becoming harder to avoid the temptation to just crank up the cool air and cuddle up under covers in my bed. Not helped by the fact that last summer I spent much of my time at a friend's house that I fondly referred to as "the meat locker" as he kept the temperature hovering around 60 degrees and became quite used to it.

Apparently my morals with regard to the environment are a little more flexible than I realized. Must work on that.

i mean it this time

the woman who did my nails last night was almost in tears over the state of my hands.

my cuticles, to be specific. or rather, the area where normal people have cuticles and skin surrounding their nails and on the end of their fingers but where i have swaths of ragged skin and bleeding gashes. god, i'm hot.

i've managed to stop biting my actual nails but cannot give up the habit of picking at my cuticles. it's a compulsion so strong i sometimes wish i just didn't have fingers. or toes. but that's easier to avoid because i wear shoes a lot.

anyway, so the woman last night was genuinely upset that i would abuse my hands in such a way. "such pretty hands! such nice nails! such white skin! why you do this?" i honestly felt bad i was causing her such distress.

so point being, i'm honest-to-god going to try to stop. wish me luck. if it works, the first thing i'm doing is going to get a manicure from that woman to show off.

side note: as usual, manicure lady asked if i had a boyfriend. as i do not, i answered no. this led to a fairly odd conversation about how if i had a boyfriend, i would not abuse my hands so. as my grasp of both korean and korean accented english is not great, i couldn't tell if she thought it was because i would be a) less bored, b) not permitted by said boyfriend to do such things c) far too occupied using my mouth for other things or d) all of the above. i suspect d.

side note the second: are there any parts of this blog that are NOT side notes? no. but i still like using the phrase.

side note the third: i like using it so much that i'm putting in a completely unneccesary side note here just to prove a point.

heterodox

heterodox: holding unorthodox opinions.

My ideal boyfriend will have the following characteristic (this is the first of many).

He will remove all of the seeds from my watermelon cubes before I eat them. And I do mean all the seeds. Yes, the little white ones count. They are seeds and I do not like them.

The Possibly Evil Air Conditioner

So you may recall that early I posted my trepidation regarding the new air conditioner. Well, most of my fears have been resolved. I love it. I love it with an amount of love that's probably unhealthy. I want to do things to it that I have quite firmly refused to do with my boyfriend. (Kidding on that last one, but damn, you never know what that AC might want to get up to with me. This love can't be one sided, I have had too many lovers where the love was unrequited. I can't bring myself to believe that the AC, my inanimate seductress, would be like that) (she added parenthetically).

Yet, there are reservations.

First of all, the magic that is my air conditioner may well be draining my bank account one breeze of cold air at a time. Being an AC virgin means I have no idea how it's going to affect my bills. And yes, I am sure that there are people who could analyze my bills, and kilowatt hours, and approximate usage but I am not one of them, and if I was I would be doing that and not writing an ode to my air conditioner on a rarely read blog.

Second concern- the dreams. At first they were just strange NON AC related dreams, which I was attributing to my bizarre subconscious. But then last night- the air conditioner, she entered my dream. I dreamt that the air conditioner FELL OUT OF MY WINDOW and while not killing anyone, taking the delicious cold air away. I woke up in a panic, noted that I was still delightfully chilly, and went over to pat the air conditioner to let it know I was concerned for its safety and didn't appreciate the scare it gave me. Now, is it really entering my dreams out of malice? Or do I simply have an overactive imagination and an unhealthy obsession with the air conditioner?

Third concern- will I now be one of those people who can't exist unless they are constantly surrounded by environmentally unfriendly artificially cooled air? Will walking two blocks in the New York heat wilt me? Until now, I have prided myself on being the sort of person who scoffs at heat- I can handle it! Get a fan, losers!

I fear I am forever changed.

clearly i should be commander-in-chief

And by that I mean, commander-in-chief of answering dumbass questions. Is that a job? It must be, I have it.

I am keeping track of all the ridiculous questions I am asked this week because it's getting honestly entertaining. Latest "I need to mail a letter- how do I do that?" OK, I know that sometimes it's hard to get used to new systems but come on! I was like "OK, do you have an envelope? Yes. Do you know how to print the address on it? Yes. Do you know where the postage machine is? Yes. And the mailbox? Yes. Great! You should be able to do it then!"

Stop! I know you're jealous! The glamorous life of an executive assistant continues on.

Why I don't have a reality show remains a mystery.

fractious

tending to cause trouble; also, irritable.

since i'm bad at titling posts, i will now use a word of the day to do so. sometimes i think my google homepage has it in for me- when the words of the day are

carom: to strike and rebound; also, a glancing off.
fractious: tending to cause trouble; also, irritable.
ratiocination: the process of reasoning.

one can only assume that i'm in for a bitch of a day. i'm not even going to get into my horoscope...


oh, who am i kidding? of course i will!! here's my horror-scope.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

Just because someone comes to you with a good idea doesn't mean you need to drop everything in your life and jump on board. Instead of following your attraction for distraction, bring yourself back to your center and think about how this new project fits with your current plans. If it could pull you too far off center, don't be afraid to say no.



J. has renamed the horror-scope the CaptainObvious-scope. So to all of you out there who were going to come to me with a good idea? I might not jump on board! So save your good ideas, I got no time. (just kidding please bring me good ideas life is a snooze fest and i desperately need some entertainment)

anyway, since life is the aforementioned snoozefest and my email buddy has deserted me, look out for more completely inane rambling. Yeah, I see you there on the edge of your seat.