i mean it this time

the woman who did my nails last night was almost in tears over the state of my hands.

my cuticles, to be specific. or rather, the area where normal people have cuticles and skin surrounding their nails and on the end of their fingers but where i have swaths of ragged skin and bleeding gashes. god, i'm hot.

i've managed to stop biting my actual nails but cannot give up the habit of picking at my cuticles. it's a compulsion so strong i sometimes wish i just didn't have fingers. or toes. but that's easier to avoid because i wear shoes a lot.

anyway, so the woman last night was genuinely upset that i would abuse my hands in such a way. "such pretty hands! such nice nails! such white skin! why you do this?" i honestly felt bad i was causing her such distress.

so point being, i'm honest-to-god going to try to stop. wish me luck. if it works, the first thing i'm doing is going to get a manicure from that woman to show off.

side note: as usual, manicure lady asked if i had a boyfriend. as i do not, i answered no. this led to a fairly odd conversation about how if i had a boyfriend, i would not abuse my hands so. as my grasp of both korean and korean accented english is not great, i couldn't tell if she thought it was because i would be a) less bored, b) not permitted by said boyfriend to do such things c) far too occupied using my mouth for other things or d) all of the above. i suspect d.

side note the second: are there any parts of this blog that are NOT side notes? no. but i still like using the phrase.

side note the third: i like using it so much that i'm putting in a completely unneccesary side note here just to prove a point.