The Possibly Evil Air Conditioner
So you may recall that early I posted my trepidation regarding the new air conditioner. Well, most of my fears have been resolved. I love it. I love it with an amount of love that's probably unhealthy. I want to do things to it that I have quite firmly refused to do with my boyfriend. (Kidding on that last one, but damn, you never know what that AC might want to get up to with me. This love can't be one sided, I have had too many lovers where the love was unrequited. I can't bring myself to believe that the AC, my inanimate seductress, would be like that) (she added parenthetically).
Yet, there are reservations.
First of all, the magic that is my air conditioner may well be draining my bank account one breeze of cold air at a time. Being an AC virgin means I have no idea how it's going to affect my bills. And yes, I am sure that there are people who could analyze my bills, and kilowatt hours, and approximate usage but I am not one of them, and if I was I would be doing that and not writing an ode to my air conditioner on a rarely read blog.
Second concern- the dreams. At first they were just strange NON AC related dreams, which I was attributing to my bizarre subconscious. But then last night- the air conditioner, she entered my dream. I dreamt that the air conditioner FELL OUT OF MY WINDOW and while not killing anyone, taking the delicious cold air away. I woke up in a panic, noted that I was still delightfully chilly, and went over to pat the air conditioner to let it know I was concerned for its safety and didn't appreciate the scare it gave me. Now, is it really entering my dreams out of malice? Or do I simply have an overactive imagination and an unhealthy obsession with the air conditioner?
Third concern- will I now be one of those people who can't exist unless they are constantly surrounded by environmentally unfriendly artificially cooled air? Will walking two blocks in the New York heat wilt me? Until now, I have prided myself on being the sort of person who scoffs at heat- I can handle it! Get a fan, losers!
I fear I am forever changed.
Yet, there are reservations.
First of all, the magic that is my air conditioner may well be draining my bank account one breeze of cold air at a time. Being an AC virgin means I have no idea how it's going to affect my bills. And yes, I am sure that there are people who could analyze my bills, and kilowatt hours, and approximate usage but I am not one of them, and if I was I would be doing that and not writing an ode to my air conditioner on a rarely read blog.
Second concern- the dreams. At first they were just strange NON AC related dreams, which I was attributing to my bizarre subconscious. But then last night- the air conditioner, she entered my dream. I dreamt that the air conditioner FELL OUT OF MY WINDOW and while not killing anyone, taking the delicious cold air away. I woke up in a panic, noted that I was still delightfully chilly, and went over to pat the air conditioner to let it know I was concerned for its safety and didn't appreciate the scare it gave me. Now, is it really entering my dreams out of malice? Or do I simply have an overactive imagination and an unhealthy obsession with the air conditioner?
Third concern- will I now be one of those people who can't exist unless they are constantly surrounded by environmentally unfriendly artificially cooled air? Will walking two blocks in the New York heat wilt me? Until now, I have prided myself on being the sort of person who scoffs at heat- I can handle it! Get a fan, losers!
I fear I am forever changed.
posted by Maggy @ 8:30 AM
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