NYC is home

I think it finally might be. I feel like this is my home, for the first time since J and B left. I'm really comfortable, and feel like I'm in control (not just like I'm supposed to be, and am not). I'm camping on the couch tonight- so long since I could do that.

I spent all evening cleaning and re-arranging. I'll post pictures later but what we did is freaking amazing. (I wanted to use a much stronger word, but you know... I'm proper). E and I worked our tails off, and danced to goofy music, and got all dusty and sneezy and took a few breaks to have a Stella and ciggy. It' s like one of those goofy scences in a montage that you think never happens. But it does! It's a montage!

It looks almost fabulous, and is super homey, and inviting and I'm so excited that I want it to be tomorrow and cleaning time again.

Wow, I just heard how that sounded, and um, I think I'm entering adulthood. Scary.

Anyway, it's traditionally hard for me to sleep tonight, so it was nice to have a distraction. And tomorrow I'll see my Aunt, who's going to help me organize.

Which I really need (though I'm almost embarassed to have look at my room) is for someone to come help me. And I'm really glad she offered, even though I didn't quite know how to ask. I think I need a distraction tomorrow, and I'm really, really excited to see her reaction to the changes in the apartment.

We worked really hard, and dear lord, I can feel it in my back.

And I'll end with a favorite F*R*I*E*N*D*S quote

Monica to Chandler : Careful. Careful! CAREFUL! CAREFUL!

Chandler to Monica : I'll tell you what- for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful unless told otherwise.

Where on earth?!

So I woke up about 7 minutes ago with absolutely no idea where on earth I was (note: I am in my bed- this should not have been hard for me to figure out). But, there I was, having been jolted awake by the garbage truck, and had that crazy unsettling feeling. You know the one I mean? Where you're pretty sure that you haven't been, you know, transported to another country, but can't for the life of you figure out where you are?

Unless I'm the only one this happens to. Anyway. This does happen to me enough that I have a process to figure out what's going on without freaking out. Open eyes- determine where feet and head are- both there? Excellent! Look at sheets- familiar? Yes! I've definitely seen these before! Slowly roll over- locate window. Trees? No... can't be in Ithaca. OK, don't panic, there's an explaination- and then the garbagemen started yelling. Oh- I'm in New York!

Sometimes there are more steps. Sometimes I don't quite get it before I get sucked back into sleep- that tends to lead to very weird dreams.

But, I figured it out tonight, and so I'm up in NYC at 3 am.

Just me and the mouse. I'm thinking of naming him.