NYC is home

I think it finally might be. I feel like this is my home, for the first time since J and B left. I'm really comfortable, and feel like I'm in control (not just like I'm supposed to be, and am not). I'm camping on the couch tonight- so long since I could do that.

I spent all evening cleaning and re-arranging. I'll post pictures later but what we did is freaking amazing. (I wanted to use a much stronger word, but you know... I'm proper). E and I worked our tails off, and danced to goofy music, and got all dusty and sneezy and took a few breaks to have a Stella and ciggy. It' s like one of those goofy scences in a montage that you think never happens. But it does! It's a montage!

It looks almost fabulous, and is super homey, and inviting and I'm so excited that I want it to be tomorrow and cleaning time again.

Wow, I just heard how that sounded, and um, I think I'm entering adulthood. Scary.

Anyway, it's traditionally hard for me to sleep tonight, so it was nice to have a distraction. And tomorrow I'll see my Aunt, who's going to help me organize.

Which I really need (though I'm almost embarassed to have look at my room) is for someone to come help me. And I'm really glad she offered, even though I didn't quite know how to ask. I think I need a distraction tomorrow, and I'm really, really excited to see her reaction to the changes in the apartment.

We worked really hard, and dear lord, I can feel it in my back.

And I'll end with a favorite F*R*I*E*N*D*S quote

Monica to Chandler : Careful. Careful! CAREFUL! CAREFUL!

Chandler to Monica : I'll tell you what- for the rest of our lives, I'll be careful unless told otherwise.