Maggy vs the Bus

I'm leaving for Ithaca today, which means I'm about to be up against one of my longtime foes - the bus.

Now, I know that the bus is not inherently evil. However, there are several factors against me in the battle with the bus and frankly, I almost always lose. I'm the most restless person I know, and am physically incapable of sitting still for an extended period of time - that is, for longer than five minutes. And I'm not exaggerating. This is fine if I'm in a normal situation with people aka not sharing a seat the size of a graham cracker for 6 hours. When sharing a small space? I'm honestly surprised I haven't been strangled yet. I bore easily. To combat this, I bring books to read, but given the limited space available, I run up against another problem. I read quickly. Usually two new books and a few magazines will tide me over until Binghamton. I can't carry more than that without sacrificing precious space for my next vice. I drink an absurd amount of water. A liter every two hours, and this gets heavy and bulky on long trips. And what does drinking a lot of water lead to? Yes! I go to the ladies room about once an hour. Which would be fine if I could have the aisle seat, but on the off chance that I might fall asleep, I like the window because... I can't sleep sitting up. So basically, my bus trips are 6 hours of fidgeting, accidentally poking my seat mate, getting up at least once an hour, digging in my bag for water, my next book, my missing snack, my iPod, falling asleep for 2 minutes at a time and whimpering about the godawful pain in my back that is a result of the sitting.

I know you want to ride the bus with me now. Buy your ticket today, I'm leaving at 8:30!

Bus 5
Maggy 0

the ethics of panhandling (or lack thereof)

So, there's a bum who sits outside my office most of the time, with a sign asking for food, surrounded by his stuff. I have problems with giving money to panhandlers, mostly because I think it perpetuates a problem rather than creating a solution, but I break down every once in a while because I really don't know how to create a solution.

So, back to the bum outside my office. I actively dislike him, because he yells at you if you don't give him money. Now, he says things that make me uncomfortable partly because they're true "You can afford a fuckin' fur coat, but you can't afford to buy me some food?!" and on and on. It exactly nails my guilt, and sometimes I see people walking by ignoring him and it kind of hurts to watch. So I give him money if he doesn't yell at me.

Onto ethics. A woman in my office came in just now, outraged with a new development. Apparently he's dressed up as Santa Claus, and is asking for donations to "Feed the Homeless" and is making out quite well. My first reaction is, well, isn't that inventive of him? He's homeless, he's not lying, per se - and it has a certain air of entrepreneurship about it.

However, there are a few problems with this. One, where did he get the Santa suit? Those fuckers are hard to find around the holidays. Two, he is mimicking a supposedly honest organization that you see around the city and thus probably making more money than he would otherwise. Three, I see him buying coffee in Starbucks occasionally.

Can I judge him for spending his panhandled money on Starbucks? Is it wrong for him to be soliciting donations under false pretenses? How did he get the Santa suit?

daring and articulate

I swear I'm going somewhere with this.

I'm participating in a focus group about hair on Monday - someone is actually paying me to sit around and talk about hair. Sitting around judging products and people for money? YES PLEASE! The screening process was a kick, too - I had to answer all sorts of questions on what kind of hair I have, what kind of products I use, what kind of person I am (daring? outspoken? adventurous? talkative? opinionated? articulate?) and then name who in history I'd like to be and why (testing my ability to articulate, I suppose).

I'm resisting any and all impulses I may have to try and screw with the researchers, thus throwing off their results. Why is it that every time I find out about a new rule, law, or way of doing things my first impulse is to see if I can fuck with it?

Case in point - the Best Buy incident. Several months ago, I was innocently purchasing an iPod accessory at the Best Buy across the street from my office. The ::ahem:: guard was positioned at the door, and asked to peek in my bag on the way in (he didn't say peek, though) and I was like, meh, what's the harm? However, after my purchase, he asked to see my receipt and confirm that it matched up to my new electronic accessory before I was allowed to leave the store. He would then initial my receipt and I could go on my way. I strongly protested, on the grounds that it's offensive to treat all your customers as thieves, not to mention what's to stop me from just walking out? You and your ::cough:: guards? Words were exchanged, and to make a long story short I was asked never to return to the Best Buy on 44th and 5th. Whoops.

I stand by my views, however, and then started to plot ways to remove merchandise from the store without being detected by their high tech security measures (teenage guard with a flashlight and pen). I would then march triumphantly back into the store and point out how absurd their policy was, while suggesting friendly alternatives to reduce losses by theft. I imagined myself some sort of modern day muckraker, with an emphasis on the injustices visited upon the suits of the world trying to purchase iPod accessories on their lunch hours at the midtown shops. Yes, I realize it's not exactly the Jungle, but what can I say? I don't have that many problems.

However, cooler heads prevailed, and I never carried out my plot against Best Buy.

Until the incident of the check, the passport, and two DVDs that should never have left the store.

to be continued...

Christmas...

I'm starting to get in the Christmas spirit - for the first time in a few years I'm taking some time off so I can go home for more than two days, so it's very exciting! I added a button to the side bar with my "Amazon Wish List" in the spirit of consumerism. Actually, I put it there because otherwise I may receive six boxes of Jello for Christmas, and well, I might be a vegan again by then.

Hey - how about an interactive post? Tell me in the comments box what your best and worst Christmas presents have been...

Also, sign up for my notifylist already because frankly, it makes me feel like I'm sitting at the coolkids lunchtable again when I see a new person on. Scroll to the bottom and find the handy dandy button, and never again worry that you're missing my ramblings, I'll send you an email when I update!